Let’s Talk!

In Debra’s family, they talk about birth. The stories are passed down from generation to generation. Since Debra was a little girl she’s known that her great grandmother gave birth to 8 kids at home. She’d work at the family farm store all day and then when she would feel that it was about time, she’d come into her kitchen, dangle herself over the kitchen sink and give birth there. It was something that was talked about and handled in a real straightforward manner. The older siblings would know what was going on and in some instances helped catch their new younger siblings as they were born when the family doctors did not make it in time. It was not something to hide from the family. It was not considered too messy or intimate to be shared.

Debra also knew that her Grandmother used a birth room at her physician’s home to deliver her mother. And, she knows her Mom’s stories and how she (Debra) was born 20 minutes after her mother arrived at her birth room in the hospital. The details were discussed and celebrated in her family. For her big Italian family, it was a right of passage!

I think it’s amazing how many mothers and daughters – let alone full families – haven’t discussed the birth process. And, for some who gave birth between the approximate years of 1920 to 1940, they might not know their birth story. This was a time when many hospitals routinely put the expectant Moms under anesthetic and they woke up after their babies were delivered from their wombs. How strange and disorienting it seems to me now.

I’m excited that more and more of us giving birth are being very intentional about what we’re creating and are sharing our full stories: including the good, the disappointing and the miraculous! Let’s talk freely and openly. What a service to those around us.

And, I get that there are still stories and aspects of our experiences that we don’t always feel safe to share. We’re not sure they’ll be understood – at least not without a LOT of context. Or we’re afraid that we’ll be judged or be the recipient of an “ah gross” face because they feel we’ve just shared too much information. Birth is a beautiful, miraculous, creative experience. It’s also a bloody, goopy, and sometimes poopy experience!

Please join the conversation: What do you wish we all talked about more? What judgments are you most concerned about if you were to share it all?

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What’s in a Name?

When you’re pregnant one of the things you get to do is pick a name for your child! This has always occurred as an exciting, creative process for me: throwing out options, narrowing it down with your partner. I think of it as fun, fun, fun! I was almost disappointed in both of our pregnancies when we had decided on names for both genders because now the naming task was over! Darn. Read the rest of this entry »

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Don’t forget about Dad!

Sunday was Father’s Day. The fathers in my life do a great job of appreciating their immediate and extended families. So much so, that the day – as I reflect back on it now – felt like more of a celebration of family than a tribute to the Dads.  Read the rest of this entry »

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How Much Information Do You Want?

Julie reflected over the events of the past couple of days. And boy were there some events to consider! She held in her arms a beautiful baby boy. Her baby was colicky, yet for the moment he was calm so she was going to consider and revel in what she had accomplished. She gave birth to a baby. Now, it didn’t happen the way she might have originally thought it might. And it unfolded in a way that was comfortable to her. Read the rest of this entry »

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Accepting Your Circumstances

Lettie’s pregnancy – her third one – was a crazy ride. How so? In her words, “I had such a diversity of adversity.” Lettie was seeking out the care and doctor’s practice that would best fit her. She wanted a place that felt good and that would do a VBAC after 2 c-sections. She was confused to find that she could not readily find medical or midwifery practices that would do this. She was frustrated by the discovery that it seemed a facility had to have a VBAC rider on their medical insurance in order to provide such service. She felt she was having her choices taken away from her. Read the rest of this entry »

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How to be with a full range of emotions

At the end of her second pregnancy, Marianne gave birth to a healthy baby and to another beautiful baby she would soon bury. She had been pregnant with twins. The pregnancy went great. They felt so blessed to be adding 2 little babies to their family. They didn’t find out gender and Marianne was hoping to add at least one girl to her family. She had a young toddler boy already. And, she knew – boys or girls – she was ecstatic to be adding to her family in this big way. At her 37.5 week doctor’s appointment, the doctor could only find one heart beat. One of her babies had died. Ahhh. I don’t know…as a mother it’s tough to even write those words. I feel so much sadness for this family. Read the rest of this entry »

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Going with the flow

Supriya wanted to have a natural vaginal delivery and it didn’t quite go that way. She was in labor for 27 hours, pushing for four or five hours. It seemed so long to her. She explains, “We kept going in all these different positions. Get in touch with your inner animal, growl, yell, all the coach things. Anyhow, nothing worked, and I remember looking at the clock at some point during all this and thinking, okay, let’s just do a c-section. Like I had made this decision inside myself to just do it rather than this whole natural delivery that I had planned. We didn’t go in for the c-section until a good couple of hours later. It was quite the neat experience, actually, when they reached into my belly. Read the rest of this entry »

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Looking and feeling better pregnant than not pregnant

Did you know that you can look and feel great during pregnancy? Did you know that it’s possible to look and feel even better pregnant than not pregnant? It tends to be a common belief that women are going to feel bad, feel worse, look worse, or struggle to continue to look thin in the face and hips during pregnancy. Right? That’s how it seems. Read the rest of this entry »

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An Update from Expect the Best while You’re Expecting

We’re 45% of the way there…kind of.

I wanted to let all you – who have been interviewed for the book or are simply graciously following our online conversation – know that I’ve recently been writing book content with rigor and regularity! If you measured simply by number of pages, I’m at an estimated 45% of the way to completion. I’m working towards publication by the end of the year

I would still like to interview more women for the Expect the Best while You’re Expecting book. Particularly women with the following types of stories to share:

• Initially concerned that she was too young to be pregnant, not ready yet
• Took actions to get Dad more engaged in the pregnancy, previously felt he was not involved the way that she wanted
• Totally loved her pregnant body, showed off the boobs or the belly, basked in the “glow”
• Created audacious self-care habits during her pregnancy, nourished herself in ways she hadn’t previously imagined

If you – or someone you know – has a story to share, please click here or direct them to the “Share Your Story” page on our website: http://expectthebestbook.com/share.php.

Thank you for supporting and expanding this conversation!

My best,
Amy

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When you really don’t want what you want…

I’m done breastfeeding my son and I’m sad about it. I want to still be breastfeeding. I want to have my nuzzle time with him. I want to know that I’m feeding him nutrition-packed breast milk. I want to take bottles to daycare with red labels (breast milk) instead of white labels (formula). I want to say that I breastfed my son for a year. I want to be done breastfeeding. I want to pack away that pump. I want to stop washing the funnels and storage bottles. I want all of this. So, how do I know what to do? How do I do what I want to do? Read the rest of this entry »

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